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The Twelve Practices to Heal from Grief

Updated: May 24, 2020

The 12 Practices to Heal from Grief

These days it appears everyone has advice to solve grief and say their prescription with passion and zeal. There is so much advice that it is difficult to process. As a psychic, I have found there are 12 universal practices you can use to “heal the heart.”

Heal the heart is an acronym for the 12 practices for healing. The twelve letters are a simple way of remembering each exercise that need to be used. Heal the heart stands for the following areas, 1) “H” is for healing is a decision, 2) “E” is for expressing gratitude, 3) “A” is for adaptability, 4) “L” is for learning to cope, 5) “T” is for taking action, 6) “H” is for healthy habits, 7) “E” is for engaging others, 8) “H” is for humility, 9) “E” is for exercising integrity, 10) “A” is for ambition, 11)”R” is for responsible reflection, and 12) “T” is for time. Here is a further explanation of the practices.

Healing is a decision refers to the fact that no one can force you to change. This is exclusively under your control. Getting out of your comfort zone to make a difference in your life depends on your will and desire to get better. Your decision to heal is a matter of personal resolve.

Expressing gratitude is about the realization that no matter the situation you have something that you can be thankful. Once you have found positives in your life then you can use them to develop a strategy for recovery. Gratitude is essential in developing a proactive attitude for making the best out of a tragedy.

Adaptability is necessary when you have a problem that you may not be able to solve on your own. Asking or seeking assistance is a sign of strength and not weakness. If you are willing to do what is necessary to achieve results, then you are on a positive track!

Learning to cope is a necessary part of healing. Sadness and the other issues associated with grief are not easy to overcome, but if you have positive activities that you can use for relief then you need to have them available to you. Coping may only give you temporary relief in the beginning, but their positive effects will grow over time.

“Taking action” is important if you are to get over a traumatic event. You must be the person who makes the effort to change your situation. Waiting for change or for others to act in your behalf will not solve your problem. You must be the primary catalyst in your quest to heal.

Healthy habits are necessary for becoming whole again. They are needed because they assist you in regaining a sense of normalcy. Taking care of your routine, diet, hygiene, and other physical needs will bring good results. Good habits can be a coping skill that is added to other behaviors that are needed for growth.

Engaging others means that isolation and not socializing is unhealthy. Humans are social beings and we need the companionship of those we share something in common. The others you socialize with may be family, friends, or others who are going through similar issues. It helps to be with others who be with those who love and/or understand you.

Humility is a sign of a strong character. Living your life as a “victim of circumstances” is not helpful but exhibiting a sense of normalcy to others will help you in recovery. The practice of humility allows you function effectively because you are not consumed with the energy of grief and sadness. Humility is about healing the soul and internal processing.

Exerting Integrity is about being in a higher state of consciousness. This is the spiritual exercise that gives you faith that better times are in the future. Reaching out to the Creator and understanding there is a plan for you which is good is an essential activity for healing.

Ambition is about visualizing where you want to be after you have created a new life for yourself. Goal setting is important for you to rebuild. Creating a new lifestyle that places you in a productive situation means you have achieved a measure of having control of your life again.

Responsible reflection is another important aspect of recovery because it means you are at some level of peace after your loss. Remembering your life prior to a grief event demonstrates you have a reverence for a previous way of life, but you have moved to another place which is not dependent upon your past.

Time is one of the most important aspects for healing because it is open ended. By not establishing a time frame for healing, you are nurturing your psyche. The lack of setting a time goal for recovery means you are giving yourself permission to be sad. You are not allowing grief to consume you while you are healing.

What are your next steps?

These twelve practices must be exercised individually, in groups, and altogether if they are to be successful. They must be ongoing and repeated for them to be effective. Overcoming grief is hard work and it is not something anyone chooses to do. We are forced to deal with grief and there are times when we are dealing with more than one traumatic event at the same time.

If you stay resolved, strive for a better life, and give yourself permission to be sad at times then you can manage anything. Support is helpful from the people around you. You can do this if you try.


Grief and the solutions to resolve it are never easy. The truth is that it is an energy that weighs you down and prevents you from moving forward in life if you let it. There are many solutions that you can choose to solve your problems and help is out there if you seek it.

Finally, you need to know the Universe, Our Creator, of God if you acknowledge Him wants you to be whole and be happy. The tools for healing are out there if you look for them. Healing your heart is not easy but you are worth it.

John Cappello is a psychic medium who has been in practice for over 25 years. You can visit his website at for more information or to set up a private consultation.

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