If you have ever been in a failed relationship but could not stop thinking about the other person then you need to know that you are not alone. The realization that a relationship has ended or has no chance can bring about a sadness that can last a long time. Metaphysically speaking, this type of sadness is a kind of grief cycle that must be addressed and developing a plan to get your thoughts away from a person is akin to recovering from an addiction.
Addictions are life altering conditions that prevent you from enjoying the life you desire. The issue may affect your everyday activities and prevent you from living a normal life. They can affect other relationships and stifle your growth as a person.
Practices to Follow
Obtaining relief from the situation becomes necessary, but it is not easy. It takes effort from your part and it can appear impossible at times. An obsession with another person has at least twelve pro-active activities, affirmations, and virtue to help you move passed your preoccupation.
The twelve activities include:
1. Recognition that the problem exists and making a commitment to release your thoughts about the other person.
2. Being grateful for the euphoria that the feelings have given you, realize they are not shared by the other person, and that they are false. Respect the reasons why you were attracted to the person who is the object of your affections and understand they are serving you.
3. You should be willing to seek help through counseling for finding an outlet to talk about your feelings if you are overwhelmed. Journaling is positive activity to help you discover the way the other person made you feel. This activity can help you discover the root issues surrounding your attraction.
4. Obsessive thinking should be a signal to change your thoughts to another subject. This is where your coping skills and a list of other activities can assist you in changing your thoughts. You can ride your bike, go for a walk, read a book, watch a movie, go to a restaurant, or calling a friend are actions that can be helpful to you.
5. You can create new activities for you to participate. This includes new hobbies that bring you joy.
6. Maintain healthy habits and stay away from negative behaviors. Avoiding activities such as alcohol, drugs, and risky behaviors are good while being responsible, exercising, following a routine, good eating habits, and considering the possibility of adopting a pet are good ones.
7. Socialize with friends and with potential people you can date are helpful.
8. Rediscover your passions and visualize releasing the person of your affections. A close inspection of your inner self is helpful.
9. Mediate and pray that your thoughts will not consume you and that you can let them go.
10. Set attainable goals by implementing new behaviors that work for you.
11. Acknowledge that you deserve to be loved and memorialize the relationship that failed.
12. Accept your situation and give yourself time to navigate through the issues that are associated with your obsession.
Relationships need to be nurtured and develop over time. When you do not have a partner in the relationship you wanted you must nurture yourself and create a new environment allowing new possibilities to come to you.
Affirmations are another practice that you can engage in to help you overcome your addiction to another person. These affirmations can help when your thoughts and feelings stray into an area where they become destructive. Here are a few that may be helpful:
I deserve to live a good life.
I want to recover from my obsession.
I can move on from this situation.
I am strong enough to heal.
I can live independently from destructive thoughts.
I will overcome my preoccupation with this person.
I am not trapped by my thoughts about someone else.
I am not mentally ill or impaired by this situation.
I am open to new possibilities.
I can let go of the past.
I look forward to the future.
I am resolved to not allow this type of problem to happen again.
Virtues to Practice for Healing
Virtues are an essential part of healing whether it is recognized or not because without their positive energy negativity cannot be removed. The twelve healing practices for healing and affirmations use virtues because they are positive activities. Additional virtues should be a part of your healing process and they include: caring, contentment, discretion, forgiveness, idealism, gentleness, kindness, tranquility, mercy, and sobriety.
The love and self-care you give yourself while healing is essential. Learning to be content without the person who have an obsession will bring you peace. The discretion you use by not allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by your thoughts indicates progress.
Forgiving the person who is no longer in your life and yourself for allowing an obsession to play such a large part of your life. Idealism is visualizing a life free of negativity and creating an environment where you can live a positive life. Gentleness is the ability to move forward without guilt or regret.
Being kind to yourself realizing that you are human and wanting love in your life is normal. Tranquility in life may not be easily obtained but striving for it is a noble goal. Mercy is about knowing you deserve to overcome this issue and being compassionate to yourself.
Sobriety in this case is staying away from your obsession and being at peace. Detachment and defiance are a couple of other virtues you can use to help you conquer this type of addiction. Virtues are at your disposal and available whenever you decide or feel ready to use them.
How to Stop Thinking of Someone
When a relationship ends or is not possible it can be difficult to rid yourself of thoughts for another person. It is okay because there is light at the end of the tunnel if you are willing to the necessary work to end your obsession. Metaphysics offers a different perspective that parallels empirical or scientific approaches.
Practicing positive behaviors, affirmations, and virtue are part of the healing process. They work together and independently of each other for an ultimate solution. Virtue is the most powerful of the techniques that are available to you, but it remains up to you to use them to for your highest good.
John Cappello is a psychic medium who is author of the book, Open the Mind Heal the Heart. For more information or to book a reading go to www.johncappello.com.