When we think of cheating in a marriage, we usually think of men. However, the fact that women are just as likely to cheat is gaining recognition. Women tend to be more discreet than men and discovering a secret affair can be challenging. There are, however, at least ten possible signs that your wife is cheating on you.
The first sign that your wife may be having an affair is that she may appear distracted and no longer interested in having a conversation with you.
If you have been accustomed to talking to your wife about everyday matters or larger issues such as politics and society, and she suddenly does not engage, you should be aware that she has her mind on other things. Your wife should be your best friend and a person that you can tell anything to without judgement. If she shuts you out of having a conversation, there could be a problem.
Secondly, she may pay closer attention to her appearance and decide that losing weight, working out, or purchasing a new wardrobe is a priority over her usual routine at home.
If you are like most men, you believe your wife is naturally beautiful and that it is not necessary for her to make changes to her appearance. The fact that most women want to look their best for their own self-esteem and for you is a compliment. It becomes a problem, however, when looking good becomes an obsession, and she places her appearance over being a companion and partner in the marriage.
Thirdly, she may want to be with friends more frequently or have a girls’ night out on a weekly or even nightly basis. She may also look for opportunities to travel without you.
It is normal and healthy to have same-sex friends because it is part of a healthy lifestyle. However, when friends become a priority and your wife’s schedule is subject to her friends wishes, it could be a sign of a greater problem. Your wife should be your best friend and want to go out with you.
Marriage is a two-way street, and it is also up to you to keep the communication open, be proactive, and make time for her as well. It is when you are wanting and willing to spend quality time with her, and she refuses on a regular basis, that a problem could be looming. It can be tricky to separate suspicious behavior from your spouse simply being distracted by other life issues. Communication is key!
The fourth sign is that your schedule may suddenly become more important to her.
It is not unusual for spouses to keep up with each other for scheduling and safely reasons. However, if there is a sudden change in behavior, and she always wants to know your exact location, you may question it. If she only questions your whereabouts, the two of you should take some time to discuss both of your fears about infidelity. However, if she becomes obsessed with where you are while hesitating to allow you to know her whereabouts, this could be a red flag indicating that she is hiding something.
Fifth, she is defensive and appears to be angry at you for insignificant reasons.
We all have bad days from time to time. However, if her patterns suddenly change, or if your wife is overly sensitive for an extended time, it may point to a more significant issue. You may want to initiate a conversation about issues that may be troubling her. If you are rejected, there is probably some issue that she is hiding. It may not be an affair, but it is something that could threatened your marriage if it is not discussed.
Your wife deserves to have her time to work out her own issues, and she deserves respect. You may have a similar period when you are working on a problem unrelated to the marriage that you wish to work out privately as well. At some point, however, your partner and you need to be part of the solution and not remain isolated from one another.
Isolating herself emotionally from you is part of a general pattern of behavior that can indicate an affair.
Sixth, she is secretive with the use of her phone.
Secretiveness can be a little tricky as well since some people hold secrets as surprises that can be either harmless or beneficial to a marriage. You should give your spouse the benefit of the doubt until you are relatively certain there is an issue. Marriage should allow for some privacy. However, extreme secrecy may indicate that a problem exists.
The seventh sign may be that her social media posts have changed their tone or focus, and/or her passwords have changed. She appears guilty of something.
It is not unusual to change your tone, focus, or passwords on social media because issues on these platforms are in flux and dependent upon many outside factors. These areas only become a problem if her behavior seems largely out of character. You must be careful not to overreact because innocent behavior can be misconstrued if you are overly sensitive.
Your wife deserves the freedom to express her opinions and feelings on her social media network. However, if there are explicit or inappropriate posts involving another person, there could be a concern. A certain level of tolerance must be allowed for adults, but there are boundaries that should be observed by them as well.
Eighth, your sex life has changed, and she is making excuses to avoid you intimately.
A couple’s sex life is unique to them, and their patterns are known to each partner. When there is a change in this area, it is another issue that needs discussion. Communication is paramount in a relationship, and sex is important for a couple to remain engaged with each other.
You must be sure that there are not extenuating circumstances for changes to your sexual activities before you become concerned about infidelity. Compassion for your partner is needed because there could be other stresses that cause a lack of interest. There could also be physical issues or reasons that have not been shared with you.
It is important to be inquisitive and supportive in this area. A problem develops when there is no willingness to discuss or work on the issue. A lack of interest can be a problem for the marriage, and if you can learn the root of it, there is a possibility of resolution.
The ninth sign is that you feel isolated from her. You no longer spend much time together, and she appears to be unhappy or restless when you come home.
Marriage is a work in progress, and this issue is just as much your problem as it is hers. Partners need to take responsibility for growing apart and developing separate lives. You may feel your wife is unhappy when you come home, but it might be that you are not paying attention to her. As a result, she feels unwanted.
This issue may be about not feeling appreciated for everything that she does for the marriage and you. You need to be mindful of her perspective and do some self-examining before you jump to the conclusion that she is having an affair.
Lastly, she has withdrawn from your family and does not participate in family activities.
The final area that may cause you to have concerns about your wife could be about her participation with your family and visiting with relatives. Once again, there are many reasons that can account for this behavior, so tread carefully. Your wife could be having a disagreement with another person and has decided to withdraw from socializing, or there could be another reason unknown to you.
Human relationships can be complicated, and you may not be aware of a problem that developed between the family and your wife. The need for dialogue is essential before you start believing another person is involved in your wife’s life. It would be a mistake to prejudge the most important person in your life when you do not know the full situation and go against her. She may be right not to socialize with the family!
It must be noted that if your intuition has caused you to have suspicions about your wife, you should not ignore it. If you continue to notice signs of a possible affair, then your inquiries must continue until you have satisfied your concerns. A betrayal is difficult to understand or accept, but if one occurs, you deserve to know so you can choose your next course of action.
A marriage that is worth saving is one that has both partners working to maintain it. If your wife is having an affair, the two of you must confront the problems in your marriage and decide whether it is worth saving. The love you have for your wife should be a primary consideration before you decide to leave a marriage. Your bond has been tested, and only the two of you can decide if that bond is stronger than the pain of an affair. Is there more good in the marriage than bad?
The ten signs that your wife is cheating on you are valid ones to consider but only when you have exhausted all attempts to talk to your wife about her life and circumstances. She deserves the benefit of the doubt in all cases because she is the most important person in your life. You have vowed to be with her in good times and in bad.
Secrets in a marriage are not part of a good foundation in a lifelong partnership, but it is not uncommon for partners to have some of them. An affair is not one of those acceptable secrets! Honesty in a marriage is paramount, but it should not be used as a weapon either.
Married life has ups and downs, and there will be disagreements along the way. A couple willing to work on issues is one that wants a marriage to work. There will be times when boundaries will be set, and each person will have their own space.
Respect and admiration for each other is necessary in a marriage. Communication, sorting out issues, and flexibility are lifelong endeavors. It is best to not be paranoid in the most important relationship of your life, but you should not be fooled either.
The best advice is to be careful before accusing someone of something that cannot be proven because a false accusation can do a lot of harm. Remember that you should not judge lest you be judged!
John Cappello is a psychic medium who has been in the profession for over 25 years. For more information or to book an appointment go to www.johncappello.com.