Updated: Nov 22, 2022
As a psychic medium, I encounter the loss of loved ones on a regular basis. I am not a healthcare professional, but I feel the pain of clients who have lost someone they loved to suicidal death. My comments in this article are based on my experience and observations of the situation and are not medical. Suicide is a national tragedy and is worth discussing because it is a topic many choose to ignore. They do not believe that suicide is a possibility within their circle of family and friends, but it is!
Articles and advice from the mental health community are important and need research, but from the standpoint of a psychic medium, there are some observations that I can make from my perspective. Suicide is not an easy topic and avoiding judgment is essential. It deserves compassion and understanding of the person harming themselves as well as those who survive them.
Mental health issues and problems in general are not confined to a few people. These issues are challenges that people must learn to overcome or manage if they are to grow and fully develop physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There is no easy solution to assisting a person in handling challenges because eventually, it is up to an individual to overcome the obstacles in their life.
Problems that cause a person to consider committing suicide may not have appeared important to the people around them but at some point, the issues in question rose to the level of considering self-harm. This final decision may have been enhanced due to depression or negative behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse. Loved ones are devastated by suicide. Often, they did not know the person was suffering from so much pain or they did not consider their problems that serious.
Suicide is the ultimate “escape” from seemingly unsolvable problems. A suicidal person has concluded that life is not worth continuing because no resolution to those problems can be reached. Other methods of escape have not been successful, and the only option becomes ending their pain by taking their life. Their ability to cope has reached an end, and they believe they are left with few or no choices.
This conclusion is wrong, in my view, but once a person has decided to hurt themselves it is difficult to reverse the decision. Many times, people will attempt this kind of violence more than once before they are successful. If someone is determined to do self-harm, there is little anyone can do without physically restraining them to prevent the tragedy.
The reasons for suicide are many and a non-judgmental compassionate attitude needs to be employed by everyone. These are five reasons that I encounter in my practice. They need to be considered and you might not see in them in other articles, so it is important to address them here:
1) Some people are type “A” individuals who are driven to get their way all the time. When this does not happen, they become discouraged. They have not developed coping skills to adapt to failure and are unable to move forward with their life. Suicide is a defiant action taken to let the world know they have been wronged and will not surrender to defeat.
Of course, suicide is the ultimate defeat, but the suicidal mind refuses to acknowledge this fact. There is the belief that if they are not in the physical world, they are not subject to the problems that were presented to them. They do not realize that in the spiritual plane, it is more difficult to solve problems than in the physical plane.
2) The loss of a relationship is another issue that causes many people to take their life. They have reached the conclusion, in some cases, that they are not lovable and, therefore, do not belong in this world. It can be a measure of spite that a jilted lover exercises to create guilt in another person who wanted to leave a relationship.
Relationships are challenging, but humans are social beings and there is a natural desire and need to be with each other. Situations change as well as people and it is not uncommon for a person to want to leave a relationship. It is essential that the party who does not want the “break up” learn to cope and accept the other person’s decision.
Suicide does nothing to change the outcome of a failed relationship. It only causes the loss of life and leaves the legacy of this negative act on others. There is nothing positive that can be gathered from it.
3) Financial reasons are another reason people commit suicide. The loss of a job, status, or assets can spark a person to commit suicide. There is a sense that they are unable to rebuild their lives and that they are not able to meet their responsibilities. For a person who once achieved a level of success, it can be overwhelmingly embarrassing to fail. They may feel that will never be able to reach that stature again.
The realization that they continue to be loved or needed by others does not enter their thoughts. Justifying suicide is about their personal needs and image. The devastation caused by their loss can be a life-altering event for others especially if innocent children are involved.
4) Health reasons are another reason people commit suicide. A person in chronic pain enduring a terminal disease often considers or commits this act. They want their misery to end because they have either lost hope or do not feel they have the support of others.
There can be a justification, in the mind, that they are relieving themselves and others from having to deal with them during their trial. It is an irrevocable act that takes away any possibility of receiving any relief from their circumstances. Suicide remains an act that takes a life unnaturally because it lacks the clarity that a natural event provides.
5) Accidental suicide is real and is becoming more frequent. This type of self-harm is the result of drug or alcohol abuse. The individual committing this act may not intentionally attempt suicide, but they made the error of administering a substance into their system that their body could not process.
Families and friends are devastated when they discover that a beloved or admired person accidentally killed themselves. Although the motive was not intentional, the realization that a person in their life felt the need to escape so much that they induced an alternative reality is disturbing. It hurts to know an artificial means was used to cope with problems and that means ending a life.
The solutions to preventing suicide are many but there cannot be any denying that people need to develop coping skills early in life. A stable environment growing up, a spiritual life, and the encouragement to navigate through complicated issues is essential. There are no easy answers to this problem, but it will not be solved unless it is recognized and addressed.
As a psychic medium, I encounter those in spirit who have committed an act that took their lives. They are a special group of people who often do not come through quickly. Every person is unique, but many of them are reflecting upon their lives, and they need prayers and support from their surviving loved ones.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or if you feel someone you know is in a difficult situation, you need to know that help is available. Recognizing the signs that suicide is becoming a possibility in your life or the life of another, proactive actions need to take place to prevent a tragedy. Please keep the mental health number, 988, in mind, and know that help is available.
John Cappello, M.B.A., Psychic Medium, and Author of Open the Mind Heal the Heart has been practicing in his field for over 25 years. For more information go to his website at www.johncappello.com.